in spite of me

I wish I was more.

More consistent with my kids.

More intentional with my husband.

More equipped to do my job.

More committed to work out.

More faithful in my relationship with God.

More, more, more.

But what I am learning... to be more patient with myself. And with the work God is doing in me. To be more content. And more grateful.

I love God's patience with me, though I really don't understand it at all. I would have given up on this hard-headed, ungrateful, slow-learning, mess a long time ago. But I am not God. He is loving, sovereign, patient, and gentle. He understands me so much better than I could possibly understand myself. Oh, how thankful I am for that!

And He is so very faithful! He always, always, always comes through!

I have been praying, seeking, and begging God to guide me as I work on our Family Christmas Production at Vanguard this year. Every year I am given the task of heading up the church-wide production. Really? Me? I have never been in a production. I have zero experience. How did I get here?

But God is faithful to lead and use those that desperately seek Him. And, guess what? I have been desperately seeking Him because I CAN NOT DO THIS ON MY OWN. period.

This past week has been amazing to watch God pour out the Holy Spirit with ideas, vision, and passion. The whole thing is coming together in a powerful way, and there is no way I can take a single ounce of credit for any of it. THANK YOU, LORD for your faithfulness. Thank You for always showing up.

And for using this mess of a person so that You alone can receive the glory.