learning to be me

What a busy week this has been! More football games, a sick child, trying to get caught up on house work and laundry, helping friends, and lots of meetings for work.

Normally, this week would have been overwhelming. Tiring. And I would have become Cranky Mama.

But this week was different. And, oh, so much better than it could have been.

This week, I set aside Monday morning, for three whole hours, to sit in my Father's lap. And talk. Share my heart. Cry. Ask for wisdom. Beg for freedom. And just be ME.

I can't tell you how freeing it was to spend that time and not feel guilty. That sounds so strange, but it's true. I often feel guilty for spending extended time with God, when I should be doing something productive. Accomplishing things. Afterall, other people don't have the luxury of being home alone, spending hours with God. I should be taking advantage of my time and getting more things done.

But, you know what? I accomplished more this week, and with a much happier heart, because I started my week off right.

And God reminded me this week of Mary and Martha, and how Mary pleased Jesus so much when she stopped working and just sat with him.

I have always fought against who I am, how I was created, and wished I was more task-oriented and a go-getter. Our society really values the movers and shakers, the people that get out there and make things happen. I have longed to be that person. But this week, God has been showing me that he made me to love relationships. To be a good listener. To bring peace to the movers and shakers.

I am beginning to embrace who I am. Beginning to. And realizing that I was truly created for relationship with my Father. And I desperately need to spend time in His lap. And when I get up from His lap, I am able to engage this world and be who He created me to be. A lover of people. A good listener. Someone who brings peace to others. And in being ME, I accomplish Oh, so much.