heavy heart

I have not been able to blog lately. I feel as though I have nothing to say. Nothing. I have been journeying with Renee during these weeks of uncertainty, waiting for answers, praying for a miracle. Yesterday, we received answers. Not the answers we were hoping for. Here is the statement from Kelly Williams, our Senior Pastor...

Remains believed to be that of our dear friend David Adam Hames, have been recovered from the Hotel Montana and are in the custody of the U.S. government and are waiting to be transferred to Dover (DE) for final forensic examination. We don’t know how long this final examination will take nor how long it will take the military to transport the remains to Dover due to the snowstorm on the East Coast. We will post again when Renee receives the results of this examination. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Pastor Kelly

I have been wrestling through so many questions, so much confusion over the past four weeks. Questions that go way beyond "Why?" These questions go to the heart of Who God is, and where we all fit in the Big Picture. And my questions aren't simply related to the tragedy surrounding Renee and her sons. My heart is overwhelmed by the circumstances of so many friends and loved ones right now. And in the midst of it all, I feel an incredible unrest, discontentment in my own spirit. I'm throwing a lot of questions at God right now, getting some answers to a few things, but silence in response to so many.

BUT, one thing remains. Trust. I trust God. I do. I believe Him when He says He has a plan. When He says He is Sovereign. My heart is settled in knowing that my God LOVES me, He LOVES Renee, and Aidan, and Zander. He is a God of redemption, a God who restores and redeems. Who brings beauty from ashes. And He is a God who can handle my questions and patiently walks with me through my anger, doubt, grief.

And, even now, I see the Light breaking on the horizon.

Somehow, in the darkness, always there is Light.