hangin' with the fam

I'm in Vegas this week, loving on my nephew Levi and my new niece Stella. My parents were here for a couple days, too, but they left this morning. Now I get the kiddos all to myself! Levi and I ran some errands (can you say "Trader Joes"? Loooove it!) and ended up at Starbucks for some special auntie/nephew time. Soooo wish I could do this every week! Jason and Megan, you know, if you just move to Colorado, you have a built in FREE babysitter, just waiting to be abused! Just saying...

Some pics of the week so far...

Levi sporting the Broncos jersey that Micah sent to him.

Poor kiddo has a yucky cold. His face is all chapped from all that nose wipin'!

(Speaking of noses, Copper got his in on the action)

Papa sharing a moment with his newest granddaughter.

Adorable. Period.

nella

This is the most amazing birth story. Heart-wrenchingly beautiful.

valentine's day, 2010

Valentine's Day is one of my favorite days for family traditions. I'm not even sure when our traditions began, they just seemed to happen organically. One year, the kids said, "We always...(fill in the blank)...on Valentine's Day." And, thus, the traditions were set.

One of the things we "always" do is our special family breakfast. I wait until the kids are in bed the night before, then set to work on decorating the table. As the kids have gotten older (and stay up LATER), this has gotten more challenging. And, actually, I'm not sure I'd do it anymore, but Maddie LOVES coming down to the excitement of the decorated table, I love it, too, so the tradition continues. Can I just say, I am sooooooo thankful for Maddie? The boys don't get into our traditions like they used to (unless, of course, food is involved!). I believe at some point they will care again (wishful thinking???), but for now, Maddie and I enjoy it together, and the boys appease us.

I should make a side note here and let you know that Valentine's Day this year came on February 13th for our family. With working at the church, Sundays are early mornings around here, so I decided to not even try to do all of this on Sunday. I think we all enjoyed our lazy morning much more than trying to rush it all before church.

So, along with the decorated table, the kids each get a Valentine from God (a verse about how much God loves us, personalized to each of the kids, signed, "I love you, God." From Mom and Dad, they get a small box of chocolates. And I make heart-shaped oatmeal pancakes with strawberries on top. Every year. Always.

Yummy breakfast

hot chocolate, too!

(Notice that Nate's chocolates are disappearing quickly, we hadn't even started breakfast, yet)

Our festivities continued with talking through 1 Corinthians 13, and discussing how well we are doing with loving each other. We all agreed that we are far from perfect, and so very thankful that God is PERFECT love. We went to Starbucks that night and laughed a lot while talking about our "love languages." With a family of 6 people, it can get to be a challenge trying to love others in the way they most need it. We will continue to try, though, and mess up, and occasionally, get it right.

^{How thankful I am that we are a family that loves each other! We are not always patient or kind. We have been known to envy and boast, and are often full of pride. We each take our turns being rude and self-seeking. And, let me tell you, we all struggle with getting angry way to easily and keeping long lists of how we have been wronged. Sometimes, I'm sorry to admit, we delight in things going wrong for someone else, and don't celebrate their joys. We don't always protect each other, trust each other, hope together, and we sometimes give up when it gets hard. We fail each other from time to time.}

But, we love each other. As best we can. And I will continue to do everything I can to build that love. That's why I love traditions.

heavy heart

I have not been able to blog lately. I feel as though I have nothing to say. Nothing. I have been journeying with Renee during these weeks of uncertainty, waiting for answers, praying for a miracle. Yesterday, we received answers. Not the answers we were hoping for. Here is the statement from Kelly Williams, our Senior Pastor...

Remains believed to be that of our dear friend David Adam Hames, have been recovered from the Hotel Montana and are in the custody of the U.S. government and are waiting to be transferred to Dover (DE) for final forensic examination. We don’t know how long this final examination will take nor how long it will take the military to transport the remains to Dover due to the snowstorm on the East Coast. We will post again when Renee receives the results of this examination. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Pastor Kelly

I have been wrestling through so many questions, so much confusion over the past four weeks. Questions that go way beyond "Why?" These questions go to the heart of Who God is, and where we all fit in the Big Picture. And my questions aren't simply related to the tragedy surrounding Renee and her sons. My heart is overwhelmed by the circumstances of so many friends and loved ones right now. And in the midst of it all, I feel an incredible unrest, discontentment in my own spirit. I'm throwing a lot of questions at God right now, getting some answers to a few things, but silence in response to so many.

BUT, one thing remains. Trust. I trust God. I do. I believe Him when He says He has a plan. When He says He is Sovereign. My heart is settled in knowing that my God LOVES me, He LOVES Renee, and Aidan, and Zander. He is a God of redemption, a God who restores and redeems. Who brings beauty from ashes. And He is a God who can handle my questions and patiently walks with me through my anger, doubt, grief.

And, even now, I see the Light breaking on the horizon.

Somehow, in the darkness, always there is Light.

under his wings you will find refuge

Our hearts continue to be with David, Renee, Aidan, and Zander. Continuing to wait, hope and pray. And believing that God is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine!

Psalm 91

¹ He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

² I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

***URGENT PRAYER REQUEST***

PLEASE join me in praying for our dear friends, the Hames family. David was in Port-au-Prince, Haiti, filming for Compassion International, when the earthquake hit on Tuesday. His wife Renee has not heard from him. We are holding out hope, and praying fervently that God would spare his life and bring him home to Renee and their boys, Aiden and Zander. Please join me in praying Psalm 91 over their family! Lord, have mercy and bring David home!

whispers and shouts

Have you ever been in a place in your life when you feel like you are processing, learning, growing, struggling, wondering...about just about EVERYTHING? There are so many things going on in my heart right now, and I feel like I just want to have SOMETHING feel stable and secure. I'm in my 4th month now as the Associate Children's Pastor at Vanguard. Talk about lots of learning and stretching going on! Learning how to lead people and develop them as leaders. Developing tons of new things in the ministry. Exciting, but, man, it feels like I'll never catch my breath! I am on the verge of having 4 teenagers, and I am having to learn how to parent them all over again. The emotional parenting we are entering is so much more exhausting to me than the more physical parenting of the early years. Never thought that could be possible, but, let me tell you, it IS! (Sorry to burst the bubble of all the MOPS mammas out there...). My husband turns 40 tomorrow (gulp), and we are entering a new stage in our marriage. It's a really good thing, but feels unpredictable and different. Friendships are growing and shrinking all around me. I feel guilty for not maintaining friendships better, but also feel relief to not have to invest so much. Then I feel bad for feeling that way.

And then there's God. In the midst of it all, He is there...whispering, shouting, jumping up and down and waving His arms, trying desperately to get my attention. Sometimes I hear His quiet whisper, and am so refreshed by His gentle touch. Othertimes I FINALLY see Him, hear Him, FINALLY get the message. And my heart breaks that it took so much. That I didn't hear His first whisper. And I am filled with thankfulness that He is faithful and patient, and that He doesn't give up on me. If He has to jump up and down, waving His arms, He will. And He loves me the same as when I respond to His whisper.

That's just the way He is.